What did the courses Alfa mean in my life?
The life with my husband appeared to be a complete life mistake.The faith was completely unacceptable for him and he refused flatly my new life approach but at the same time I knew I couldn´t leave him if only for the reason that we had children and so, I suffered much more than before.A year ago, the courses Alfa were organized in our parish.At that time I´d been living with my husband for twelve years.At the time of our marriage we were atheists and although we liked one another our matrimony was in crisis in the course of time.I was very unhappy about my life because I looked for its sense all the time but despite all my efforts I couldn´t find it.It was only ten years after the wedding ceremony when I was thirty I suddenly found hope for my desperate life – God´s love that I´d met for the first time then.I was baptized and decided to live a life with God with all my heart.
The trouble was that the life with my husband seemed to be a complete life mistake because our mutual relationship even deteriorated at that time.I searched for the answers to lots of questions and he perceived that we were going away from one another. The faith was completely unacceptable for him and he refused flatly my new life approach but at the same time I knew I couldn´t leave him if only for the reason that we had children and so, I suffered much more than before.
When I learnt of the courses Alfa I didn´t think at all that they could make a difference in my life.I was thinking of participating in them rather because they´d been organized by people who were close to me and I wished my husband to make their acquaintance.I hoped that if he met believers whom he found “normal“, he´d stop turning down Christianity and myself.
For fear of him being against it I suggested him to come with me to the first gathering and strangely enough, he agreed.I think he enjoyed the first evening of the course Alfa since next week we came again and then, we didn´t miss any gathering.My husband listened to the lectures attentively and he took to discussing the principles of Christianity.On the other hand I had plenty of things on my mind I´d been unable to talk about and the dialogues in groups were an appropriate occasion.
The opportunity of meeting at the courses Alfa was a great gift for both of us.However, I took part in the courses especially in the hope that my husband´d believe.Above all, I pinned my hopes on the weekend gathering that was entirely concentrated on the Holy Spirit.The participants of the courses have the opportunity of getting to know the Holy Spirit through lectures dedicated to this topic and meeting him personally during the prayers for his pour-out.I wished my husband to believe because I hoped that it could have improved our relationship.
Our relationship really started changing after the weekend of Alfa but for completely another reason than I´d expected.Neither the lecture nor the moment of the common prayer to the Holy Spirit but the social game became the most crucial moment for our relationship.Game where won the maried couple who knew one another best.I found out that I didn´t know my husband and that´s why I always looked only at what I expected from him and from our relationship but I didn´t notice himself.I didn´t see that there was a human being beside me who had his foibles and didn´t believe in God but on the other hand he longed to be happy as well as me.In addition, despite all the difficulties of our relationship he still liked me.
At those days I made a firm decision to struggle for our relationship and at the same time I began praying a lot for our matrimony .In the beginning it was very painful because I had lots of wounds from those times when we´d reproached for plenty of things and harmed one another a lot.Gradually our relationship began improving and it dawned on me that the life with my atheist husband wasn´t any obstacle in the intense life with God but the way to his deeper knowledge.
And what about my husband?After some time he told me he loved me again and he was happy to be with me – and this reconciliation has been one of the most beautiful moments in our mutual relationship since it became the beginning of the new era of the mutual life.Notwithstanding that my husband still considers himself to be an atheist we attend the Sunday worship together and I believe that the Holy Spirit´ll also once touch his heart and he´ll believe.I´m sure this moment is going to come and I´m very grateful for everything that God´s done in my life and also for all the great things that He´s sure to do.
Iveta Miklošková, January 2007, the source CHO
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