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God touched my life

Štefan Patrik Kováč

Since that meeting with my best Friend I have been able to understand more of life. I have been not running away from problems and obstacles any more but I have tried to solve them. Since that point God has opened myself to other people: I have been really hungry of people: I wanted to meet them, speak to them, I wanted to live the real life, not the life in my dreams and built in my thoughts only. When I say real, then I mean real: also with the problems, because there have not been less problems, no. Maybe more.

   Before I had my own family, my life had been a mess. I had usually been late for my appointments; I had not been able to organize my life, it was in a big chaos. I had killed the time with reading. It was the best activity for my leisure time. I had known all libraries in my town. Every month I went there and borrowed some books. I started at a children's department, but I often needed a book also from the adult's department. But long-lasting reading was not only killing of time. It was much more. Much more. The situation in my family was not the best, so I used it as an ability to leave daily problems (usually serious problems) and fly away to a world where my soul can feel better. It used to be my way of living: after the school taking a book, sitting in an old armchair at the window in the bed room and reading. I was nervous when somebody disturbed my thoughts. The surrounding of me was in black so understandable I chose consistent literature and authors: Edgar Allan Poe and his mysterious short stories and poems; and Fiodor Mikailovich Dostojewski and his novels (the world literature reached in his work its climax, I have been sure about it till today) and many others. I was really like an introvert. I spent nearly all my free time at home or working in the father's vineyard at the one-hour-driving village. Nearly no friends. No others leisure activity There were not any other leisure activities. Living in dreams. Not understanding reality. Downplaying of problems and running away from troubles and obstacles. Then I met a girl. And that was THE change in my life. But not meeting her it was. With her I met my best friend since that point of life: my loving God. He was speaking so loudly through her to me that I could understand by heart what I had only heard by my ears before: Do not be so self-centred; the life is not about you; the life is not easy, it is difficult – accept it and do not run away from its problems - problems are here, because you can grow in them (do you not know: Things that will not kill you will make you stronger?); you are not important in your life; you do not and can not control your own life; and finally: surely you will die. These things totally changed my way of life. God has become the aim of my life since that month of August in the hot summer of 1996. Since that meeting with my best Friend I have been able to understand more of life. I have been not running away from problems and obstacles any more but I have tried to solve them. Since that point God has opened myself to other people: I have been really hungry of people: I wanted to meet them, speak to them, I wanted to live the real life, not the life in my dreams and built in my thoughts only. When I say real, then I mean real: also with the problems, because there have not been less problems, no. Maybe more. Today I can feel the best in the middle of real Christian people. I search them and they are looking for me. People without pretending, without adoring the money, power, well-looking or themselves, simple people, hard-working people, children-loving people, praying people, God-adoring people. And I try to say people the truth about themselves to their eyes. It is not easy and costs a lot of energy. One example. Recently a man has come to our flat and has told us about his wife who had run away of him to some else man's bed and committed adultery. He hates her and her lover. “Why?” I asked. “You are the same like he is,” I answered. In the meantime that is to say he had found a student-girl and spent some nights with her. He was really surprised, as I had said the biggest truth in his life and after a while he cast down his eyes: “You are right, Stefan, you are right. I am the same as my wife's lover.” And that was the end of accusation and condemnation of his wife. So my way of living is searching for the truth about myself, about God, about other people and the world. And the life decision has already been done by me. I know now who the truth is at. Not at a human being. A man can not tell you what the truth is and what not. Somebody Else must do it. By the way, today I have no time for reading. But I enjoy the real life and I try to learn every time. By my friends, by my wife, by my child, by old people, by young people, by situations brought by life, by my failures, by my sins, by my family, by God, by my weaknesses, by my strong sides, by my pride and by my humbleness, simply by the life. So that is my today's way of life and it didn’t use to be like this. Learning. Hoping. Acting. And waiting for meeting Him.

Stefan Patrick Kovac more: www.facebook.com/s.p.kovac

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