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Testimony of the conversion

Lenka Petraturová

I started thinking about Christianity but then I quickly drove this thought away because my pride was considerably injured.Could I have gone back to what I´d rejected long ago? This return´d have been very humiliating and in addition to that I was afraid of not been accepted by other Christians. Testimony of the conversion

I´mtwenty-eight and I was baptized six years ago.My mother´d guided me and my brother to the Christianity ever since we were children.We prayed together, read Scriptures and attended worships in the Baptist church.My mother´s grandparents were living a beautiful life with God.They prayed every day and we often sang Christian songs together in the evenings.These fine moments impressed themselves upon my memory.However, my parents´relationship was different, rather confrontational.I was hard put to stand it and when I was fifteen, I became doubtful and turned down such way of life and inculcated values.I decided to get the best out of life and especially to enjoy all those things that present-day world offers and my mother forbids.I was impressed by my friends´way of life.And this bewitchment didn´t stop until I was nineteen.Then I began to realize in which emptiness I´m living.

Especially when I was silent, I had pangs of conscience and there were questions that couldn´t be answered.Looking at my life I was disgusted.I felt empty without meaning of life.I knew I´d have to change inevitably my life.It´s come to my mind that I lacked spiritual dimension.I started taking an interest in the eastern religions and meditations and made friends with people who did Zen Buddhism.Half a year later, it´s dawned on me that it was only a play-acting again, some sort of entertainment, neither these people nor me dedicated themselves really to it.I started thinking about Christianity but then I quickly drove this thought away because my pride was considerably injured.Could I have gone back to what I´d rejected long ago? This return´d have been very humiliating and in addition to that I was afraid of not been accepted by other Christians.I wasn´t baptised and worries preyed upon my mind of which church I should be a member.

By coincidence, I met several young Catholics who´d worked with mentally defective people.I was deeply touched by their live faith.I stopped opposing Christian belief and I began attending worships of almost all our denominations.
I was charmed by Orthodox church, thorough knowledge of Scripture of the Protestant brothers and I was slowly getting rid of prejudice against Catholic church.This period took me two years.
Two months´stay in Taizé community, brother Roger´s thoughts, P.Halík´s books and John Paul´s encyclic ( especially Ut unum sint ) were of great significance for me.All these things and certainly a lot of other ones that I´m not aware of, brought me to the Catholic church.
I experienced a wonderful year of cathechumenat and received the sacrament of baptism, a year later the sacrament of confirmation.At that time I was convinced that I´d have to drag along the wounds from my childhood and puberty for all my life as a a cross.Thanks to my spiritual father I could experience the inner healing.To regain freedom that Christ´d won us so that we weren´t slaves of the past, of our own unacceptance.or unforgiveness to ourselves.
In Christ I found my happiness and church is my home.In last years I´ve been wrestling with an illness but the Lord takes care of me even under these circumstances.
I believe Lord is with me in everything that I experienced and I experience.
He´s my Pastor, I´m in want of nothing….refreshes my soul….I won´t fear anything for He is with me.
 

                                                      Lenka Petraturová, Kroměříž June 2006

 

 

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