Ježíš

                                                                              /from Tolkien, The Lord of the Ring/ because we´re going to know He´s waiting for us on the other bank…

     „For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor so that you through his poverty might become rich.“ /2 Cor,8,9/

Since my schoodays I´d been going to church and when I was ten I experienced /as there´s been custom somewhere/ a deeper initiation into the Christian life.- the first Holy Communion and confession. I meant business but the only thing I can remember is I had more sins than the others.

I disliked autority much and I hated kindergarden, school and stuff like that. When I was studying at the secondary school, I gradually started drinking, smoking cigarettes and marihuana and testing other drugs. I had a lot of troubles at school and at home as well. I was also looking for some girlfriend but since I was rather shy and I didn´t know how to chat girls up, it was no big deal. I was still searching for something, I´d call it love or Jesus.When I was 18, I became a semi- automaton. In the morning I got up, went to school, in the evening I took a couple of hits and went to bed. I also became dependent on the masturbation. I tested various substances, LSO too and when I´d used it several times, I began to have nightmares. I came to be in the frightfully ugly place in my dream I don´t know where it was but I wasn´t able to get out and I felt dreadful there. It´s happened twice.

I needed to get out of it. You may expect a kind of a happy end but the way out wasn ´t easy at all. There were about 3 things which influenced me a lot.

     Firstly, when I didn´t know what to do I asked my mother and she told me to go to the lifelong confession. It´s a sort of an activity when you see a priest and you took out all the evil things and God´ll forgive you. You often feel something´s fallen off your mind. So I went there, and it was on the 19-9-1999, such a weird date.

Secondly, I started attending a Christian congregation, and I read various Christian books right after this confession. One of them was called“ Life in new dimensions“ and there was written that every Christian has a gift of the Holy Spirit, something like a present that God gave him for the others and for himselft as well.It´s sufficient to ask God and we´re going to discover it. So I said to myself I´d have a try, one evening I sort of knelt down and said.“My Lord, I´m asking you for some gift“. I put it simply. And something was heard in my head. no words, it was rather a thought if I believed to receive something. After having hesitated I said yes. All at once some words came into my head, and I started praying in languages. It´s a kind of the gift of the intensive prayer. It´s written likewise in the second chapter of the acts in the Bible. It was a very great experience for me since on the second day I felt God´s love in the church so much that I wasn´t able to move and I´d asked God to step aside from me what I regretted immediately afterwards but frankly speaking I couldn´t stand it.

 Thirdly, before turning over a new leaf of life, I got into a very big crises as some´d put it: I fell from the frying pan into the fire. I started having big depressions, I felt empty, down in the mouth and the worst thing was that I was all the time in love with somebody – but it didn´t turn out all right. It happened during this crises that I´d gradually stopped doing those things I´d used to do. I stopped smoking, I haven´t been drunk up to this day, I don´t use any habit-forming substances and I don´t wank. Jesus set me free from all those dependencies that aren´t good for you. I also started praying and reading Bible what was a miracle for me. I meet God when doing these things. Nowdays, I often feel ill at ease and I know it´s not easy but when I call to God, so I know it´s HIM who´ll hear my prayers and who likes me. I know he´s going to help me. It often occured he´d really helped me a lot.

Marta also believed in the resurrection in the 11 chapter of John but she didn´t know Jesus was the RESURRECTION and the LIFE, and THIS VERY DAY her brother Lazar´d be resurrected…

    Ondřej Rozkopal, April 2007