Knowing my way
Already at the basic school we´d been urged to pray for our future vocation by a priest.I formed my own idea on it and prayed only for my wife and children.These days I know it´s better to pray for knowing where God wants me to be and not for where I want to be.My name is Pavel Šupol.At present I´m studying at the teological faculty in Olomouc, where I´m simultaneously preparing to become a priest.I´ve been brought up in faith since my childhood.When I was one year, my mum stayed with us alone and in addition, our youngest brother should be born.She almost ended up in the street.Her siblings helped her and we could grow up in a modest little house that they´d got for her.When my mum and I are looking back at how she might cope with it, so she herself speaks about the fact that faith in God was great help to her.
As a child I didn´t understand it but nowdays when I´ve grown up I see where my mother took the power to manage both inferior jobs from.She was working hard so that we could eat, study and wear something.We also had to put our shoulders to the wheel and that´s why I was working as a cleaner and boiler room attendant.Later on, when I completed my apprenticeship and passed my school-leaving exam I managed to enter the Civil Faculty VUT in Brno.I continued to work as an agronomist,decorator,repairman and farmhand……I went through all these things because I had to earn my studies.I´m very grateful for all these holidays.I know what it means to earn one´s living and especially I´m able to take the screwdriver in my hand and find out why something is broken down.
Already at the basic school we´d been urged to pray for our future vocation by a priest.I formed my own idea on it and prayed only for my wife and children.These days I know it´s better to pray for knowing where God wants me to be and not for where I want to be.I went out with several girls as I was looking for my future wife.My last relationship was the longest and the most intense because we went steady for two years and we were engaged for a year.I experienced the wonderful moments – I loved fully and I was loved.Although God was present in our lives it was in a rather traditional way.I was committed in my parish but I felt that God had been like a prop that I needed only when I was in a tight corner but at some other time I forgot him quickly.
Before the end of second year at university my friend and I started being in bussiness so that we could get ahead.It was my classmate and I didn´t know what would lie in store.The first day of my third year´s begun and I immediately went to hospital where my girlfriend was working.It was obvious from her behaviour that something was wrong.At the same time my classmate rang me up and told me he needed to talk to me.The three of us gathered and I found out my foreboding was true.My girlfriend told me she´d fallen in love with him and she
decided with whom she´d be.I didn´t stop her and with heavy heart I blurted out that because I love her and want her to be happy I´m willing to accept her decision.I told my friend I forgave him.However, I knew it were just words at that moment .The injury was too severe….Our next date was in one day.I decided to go to the church and pray God to help me in this situation.
Various ideas occured to me.Some of them were nightmarish solutions.I told God that I´m aware not to put Him first lots of times in my life and thought of him only when I´d been feeling lousy.But I wanted it to be different as from then.I also asked God to help me to accept my girlfriend´s decision if she decided to live without me and and to be capable of forgiving genuinely my friend.I was in the church on that evening when we should get together.Suddenly I received the big gift of internal healing.It was a moment when I knew that wound I´d experienced yesterday was away and I really forgave.There was nothing within me because I was even able to hold out my hand to my friend and then in a few days I said goodbye to my girlfriend when embracing and kissing her for the last time.It sounds like a fairy tale to me but it was the moment God´d taken advantage of so that I could turn to Him with all my life.I could feel Him very close to me when I was feeling worst.
Since that moment I haven´t prayed only for my wife but for knowing the place where God wanted me to be.And so from time to time it occured to me to become a priest.But I chased quickly this idea away.I constantly argued with God why is it just me who´d consider being a priest.I told him to look what I was like and how I was living.It took three years.In spite of the fact that I started studying teology I thought all the time I wouldn´t stick it out there and I´d quit.I´ve been in the seminary for five years and since my first wake all these doubts have dissappeared.I discovered the peace that made me sure of being at the right place.
I didn´t plan to cooperate with the Radio 7.I´m interested in the Christian bands and I wanted to start arranging a talk with young people where I´d speak about the life of these artists and I´d put on shots with Czech subtitles.
Annotation: These days Pavel devotes his time to videos where he not only talks to the young people about God but he also tells them the testimony of famous singers from domestic and international Christian music scene.
Pavel Šupol, March 2007
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