Ježíš

Since my childhood I´ve been afraid of not falling seriously ill.However, suddenly everything changed.I was twenty-four and my daughter was four months when I was taken ill.

After a few months of disease I heard those words many people were so afraid of:“You are seriously ill.You´ve got a scarce tumour whose cause and treatment have been unknown so far.We´ll have a try at irradiating you and giving you chemotherapy.The prognosis is uncertain – you may also have only several weeks of life.I thought it all couldn´t have been true.

When you are ill there is only one thing you wish – to be well again.I gradually got through the prescribed chemotheraphy and irradiation.We were looking for help wherever we could.We turned to the eminent doctors in this country and abroad.Quite a number of my friends offered us in good faith various remedies that were sure to help.Nevertheless, my state of health deteriorated.My husband and I are Christians.We believe Our Lord holds our lives in his hand and that he leads us in the everyday matters of human life.However,I have to admit that although I believe in God´s help I relied much more on the help of human beings.Once I read these words in the Bible in the book of prophet Jeremiah:

   “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
   who draws strength from mere flesh
   and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

These words struck me like a bolt from the blue.All of a sudden, my eyes opened and I came to know that it wasn´t God´s problem but mine and my approach to the illness was wrong.

I only trusted God half.I set my hopes on the human.And that´s why God couldn´t do anything for me.I pleaded God to forgive me and decided to subordinate to his will provided that He´d lead my life in the best direction.Since then, there had been a radical change.It wasn´t us who looked frantically for the greatest experts in medicine but God himself started sending us doctors who´d had some experience with this kind of illness.They suggested the treatment that I´d undergone trusting in the God´s help.During several months my state of health improved considerably.Nonetheless, I can´t forget the most important thing - every treatment was accompanied by my prayers and by prayers of my family and of many other believers.

More than 30 years have passed since the onset of my disease.We experienced lots of miracles in our family during this time.I´ll mention one of them.One day ( about seven years had come by since the beginning of my illness ) I began feeling strange.During the examination at the oncology I was told there was something amiss.It looked as if there was a large tumour or cyst in the uterus.Another physician, who wasn´t informed about my condition announced me calmly during the more detailed ultrasound scan at the gynaecology:“It´s the twentieth week of your pregnancy, here are little legs and hands.“

It was really shocking.Nobody was able to believe I was in the family way.After all, as a result of my oncologic condition that damaged my hypophysis, my hormonal funtions were out of order.On one hand it was a happy finding but on the other hand we knew that right in the first months of my pregnancy I had chemotheraphy and X-Ray of stomach.It dawned on us that both the radiologist and the experienced internist had overlooked signs of pregnancy in the X-ray pictures.We were told there was little likelihood of our child being born healthy.

In four months and eight days since the moment when I had first learnt of my pregnancy, our son was born.He weighed 4.25 kg and was better off than the children of healthy mothers.

Physicians who thought rationally didn´t find the least health problems when examining our son carefully and with emotion they considered this unusual case as „a miracle“.

However, the only thing I´ve been afraid of during all my life was not to come down with some serious disease.

I know I don´t need to fear of death because I´ve got an equanimous relationship with God.He forgave my sins and thanks to his sacrifice on the cross I´m reconciled with the Heavenly Father.I know if the Lord called me off from this earth I´d go to the Kingdom of God.I can witness to the fact that God is really powerful and glorious Lord who hears your prayers.It´s worth trusting him.

Lidia Smílková, June 2009, published with the kind permission of BTM