God´s visit
…When I was two my own parents sold me for three thousand crowns to other people… my adoptive father abused me from the age of 12 to 18….My life was marked by my dramatic childhood much more than anyone else´s.What I was forced to experience in childhood and adolescence was ingraved in the very essence of my being and influenced in a negative manner not only my behaviour but also my relations to the others.Nevertheless, at this moment I don´t mean to write here about my childhood in detail, therefore only two sentences characterizing the most essential things.
…When I was two my own parents sold me for three thousand crowns to other people
…My adoptive father abused me from the age of 12 to 18….
In autumn 1989 I decided to go on a trip to Bratislava with my “well financially secured“ boyfriend.I had no scruples at all about taking advantage of “my boyfriends´“ funds and so, we agreed on going there.The accomodation and city were fantastic but before long I found out that I wasn´t content with either.I missed something here as usual and I searched for it but didn´t know what it was.Being in this internal frame of mind I caught sight of a billboard that was saying:“Jesus can heal you and save you.“In spite of my revultion and rebellion towards any authorities I made a decision to visit this announced gathering and so, we hit the road to get there.It was a very odd atmosphere for me.Thousands of people filled the stadium and awaited what´d happen.A man came and began preaching about God, God´s love, Jesus, salvation and change of life.Then, he walked across all the stadium and was lead by his Jesus who´d allegedly talked to him.And this Jesus showed him who needed some miracle in his life.As he was walking I thought „if God really existed so, that one who was telling me this stuff here would go to me and pray especially for me.No sooner had this thought faded away in my heart, then this man turned from the opposite side of the stadium and walked across all the stadium towards me without stopping.He stopped at me and invited me to the open space of the stadium where he began praying for me.Immediately I fell to the ground but nothing was happening to me and I didn´t know at all what was going on.I know only that I perceived something that couldn´t be described by any words or names.
After two days I found out I couldn´t take advantage of that man anymore I came to Bratislava with and I had to go home.I asked him to forgive me ( it was only later on when I realized that I´d done this for the first time in my life ) and left.During next two weeks I was thinking about what it had happened to me and what the matter had been with me.I was completely bewildered by everything and didn´t understand anything.At home I liked to sit in my armchair on the balcony and smoking a cigarette I watched the sky – the stars.And when I watched the sky after that experience I told the one who´d been unfamiliar for me at that time in a low voice:“Where are you if you ever exist?“ As soon as I finished saying this, I suddenly saw the big cross going down to me.It was so stunningly beautiful made from the totally unfamiliar indescribable material and I thought in my heart:“And where is Jesus?“.And no sooner had this thought faded away I suddenly knew that there was a human being standing beside me.I knew it was HIM.Jesus came to me and started talking about the fact that HE died for me on the cross that HE is the Way, Truth and Life and many other instructions and words that were meant for my life.My heart was in my mouth.I was scared at that time.How is it possible that He, Saviour and Creator of the world can come down to me and speak to me? I´m so sinnful and dirty.And suddenly, I knew that I couldn´t go on like this and I began pleading with him to forgive my sins and to receive me and never let me go.And He did it.He didn´t only leave me but he also meets me .He loves me with that beautiful love that I wasn´t able to imagine before.He heals all my wounds that I had in my old life and proves me every day how much he loves me.All I can say is :“Jesus, I love you“.
Jana Zwienerová, Kroměříž 2003
Displayed 17299x od 18. 09. 2003
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