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Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen.
Matthew 28,20

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Are you going to be with me?

Hana Pinknerová

Little, defenceless,unprovided-for Jesus was born.We know about him that he´s a future celebrity and so we´re bringing and giving him the leftovers from our Chrismas tables, unsuitable Chrismas presents and a bit of entertainment by singing him carols. Are you going to be with me?
The traditional Chrismas carols use in essence one type of lyrics.
Little,defenceless,unprovided-for Jesus was born.We know about him that he´s a future celebrity and so we´re bringing and giving him the leftovers from our Chrismas tables, unsuitable Chrismas presents and a bit of entertainment by singing him carols.We make ourselves very happy because we have a sense of self-satisfaction.We are those good guys, we are in the picture after all!We identify ourselves with contemporaries at that time – witnesses of Christ´s birth and we compare their reactions with how we´d like to react in their shoes.It warms our hearts that we know what will grow up of him and therefore we secure the favour of this future celebrity, when he becomes the celebrity, with our present-day gifts.We betray ourselves that we´ve understood only little about what the grace is.
 
To a certain extent we can also find this approach at some other time than at Chrismas.Such as our attitude to God.It goes without saying that we step forward and present our requests and supplications because the Lord likes it.Since we´re informed from lots of seminaries, conferences and sermons we therefore know it´s better to give than to take and that´s why we sometimes start asking by praising the Lord.First we give and then we receive.Sometimes we might be so generous that we didn´t want to ask for nothing concrete and we only worship God anticipating His blessing whatever it may be.Lots of Christian songs even rely on it:“We´re your people, we´re your bride so come among us, come and give away…“
 
A friend of mine told me an experience from the prayer meeting.A group of people got together so that they might worship God together, pray and receive the blessing….and right at the beginning a woman proclaimed:“God, I won´t stop praising you until something happens, until you bless me manifestly.“Then they said prayers,praises and at the moment of silence God spoke to this woman:“Are you going to stay with me even if I don´t bless you?“
 
I don´t know what happened next.I don´t know what this woman´s reaction was.What I only know is that this word touched me.God put a finger on my heart as if daddy was showing the important passage in a book to his child.I can still feel it.He asked me as well:“Are you going to be with me even if I don´t bless you? Even if you don´t experience anything extraordinary? Are you going to be with me only because of myself?“ I felt like crying because God´d proven my acquisitiveness.I come to sing my songs so as to secure His favour.I expect to experience something.I expect something´ll happen.But why? Hasn´t he done everything?
 
 I´ve seen to it ever since that „we were together“.Without any activities.Often without words.Many times „nothing happens“ but I know:we´re together.We walk along the street together and He shows me his love messages that he´s prepared for me here.I take a look at the sky and appreciate the form,arrangement and colour of the clouds.I pick up the fallen leaf couloured for me with special care.Sometimes I have to let it all go and just stand at the window like that.
 
 
 
Just cuddle up to him.Sometimes we go to the café together.I let him assort my thoughts and I´m interested in his ones.Sometimes he talks to me.
 
We may go steady.And we´re going to get married.
 
Hana Pinknerová, Brusinky, publishing company Postilla 2003, December 2007
 
 
 

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